cup of coffee

  He glanced at his watch, the hands ticking by the minute, slowly irking him. The thin scratches on the watch glass screen, the small peelings on the brown leather watch handle never really bothered him, despite his friends aggravating urge to replace a new Patek Phillipe watch for him. He never knew why he was emotionally attached to the old dusty looking watch. The change of jazz music in the small bustling cafe awoken him from his distracted thoughts. Seated facing the window in the right inner corner of the cafe, he adjusted himself comfortably into the black plush cushioned seat while looking at the busy road ahead of him. He have always loved this corner of the cafe, not only due to the isolation from everyone, but also, the silence gave him ample time to focus on his untreated emotions and thoughts deep inside his mind. The laptop screen in front of him was left unattended while he waited for what is to come ahead. He could hear the deafening ticking sounds of his watch, th...

Feet tucked closely together, time ticked second by second. a thin wisp of air surround the room like it's meant to linger while you take short glimpses onto the screen, tightly gripping on your warm cup of unfinished tea. You wait for an outcome, a result, or anything, that could probably soothe your fast-paced heart from constantly beating oddly quick.  Trace back time to roughly about five years ago, huge buildings overlooked a teen who believed, maybe even strongly presume that dreams are a figment of a highly creative imagination, inspired by unrealistic books on dusty shelves. A teen who could only hope and pray that something goes well for her, for once. Don't get mistaken, events in her life have been going smoothly in unexpected ways but fear was a huge factor. Fear of the uncertainties in the midst of her mundane life. Sleepless nights, glazed eyes filled with tears that only starry nights are able to witness while she ponder on her unfathomable and rather bleak futur...

  Isn't it strange how love works?  Walking from empty spaces to tall skyscrapers,  Tall skyscrapers to secret alleyways, Secret alleyways to empty spaces again.  We feel intensely, we act on our feelings leading to decisions that could make or break us. Honestly, who told us love was easy? Our hearts could never ever be fully ready to overcome the highs and lows of unknown roads and yet, here we are, ready to risk our hearts for people who were once strangers. The vulnerability people hold closely to themselves, kept hidden in tightly enclosed rooms, locked in the strings of their blood vessels, and yet, it get all loose, untied and full of holes when a person comes along. The intensity of an emotion no one could simply comprehend with words but somehow, simple phrases can easily tore hearts apart. There is no middle ground with love, no staying within the lines because in the end, we break our rules for souls. We tell ourselves, next time we will get stronger, brav...

Life. Life has a funny way of saying "Here you go, a sprinkle of challenges for you and a dash of heartbreaks. All the best my love". Then, you're left alone to handle things that come ahead. Some days you get excited, some days you reached brink bottom and other days, you just feel empty. Like a speck of dust lingering in stuffy rooms and old books, you wait for some purpose in life, a meaning to live for. That, my friends, is the abstract representation of being in our 20s.  So, where do we begin? How did being in our 20s became such a pressurizing and painful age to live in? Was it when the education system started? Or when social media started circulating "perfect visions" of how being in our 20s should be? When we all graduated from school, everyone is expected to secure a job immediately, get the best job you could ever obtain, build a whole empire of financial earnings, have a consistent hustle culture and the best of friends. That sounds perfectly pieced...

Welcome to sycatsy's blog. What you are going to read now is not going to be a content filled with a motivational lesson or even an inspirational change of mind. Instead, it will be a buildup of overwhelming surge of emotions you never thought existed in you, the real you. You also understand that when life gives you lemons and you make lemonade out of it, you thought you're doing something good for your soul, but life bites you back with the sour aftertaste of lemonade, which does not help you after all. So, below are my deepest, rawest feelings that hid beneath everything else. Words kill. If you believe actions speak louder than words, then may as well believe that words bleed harder than actions. What do I mean by bleed harder? You will never know, not even your heart will be able to tell you until you're lying alone at your bed or even laughing, having the time of your life and the words start coming into your head like an unwanted guest. Then, the words sta...

Welcome to sycatsy's blog! Now is a new year and looking back at 2017, my life has been filled with bittersweet memories. Like a roller coaster ride, I face ups and downs of what life can offer, a mixture of extreme happiness to gloomy days and honestly, its all worth it. It is yet another memorable year for me. You, who have gone through tough times throughout 2017, I am proud of how far you have come and may a new year changes you to be a better person than before.  Love, in different forms, is a powerful feeling which in any case, one must bear the consequences and responsibility that comes with it. It is what keeps us awake all day long, through the darkest days and silent nights. We crave for love, acceptance and the longing affection from another, that sometimes may resort to desperation, doing whatever it takes to obtain the love we desire. Desperation is deemed as normal in this modern day with people willing to end everything even their lives when they experience unrequi...